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WHAT DO YOU WISH TO HEAR

I would ask you what you wish to hear 
I have lived so many lives in my mind
I would have asked you to close yours eyes and read this but how is that possible cos the mind sees deeper when the eyes are closed. 
I would have told you how I became a brilliant sunrise that starts it all
How I became the warm sunset that brings it all to a glorious end
How I sometimes cry in the bathroom, silently and painfully. 
How my jokes are always dead on arrival
How I laugh the brightest and the loudest at the silliest of things.
How I would torture myself to sleep
How I imagined beautiful faces in different forms and shapes
How I overcame my fears just with a push
How I became fearless when I ought to be fearful



I ask again what do wish to hear
How I became a child from my mother's belle 
How I became less approachable and more hated
How I became the talk of the town 
How I had friends that were never really my friends
How I had gone to explore and gained nothing but failure



I ask again what do you wish to hear
How I became became a lady full of dreams 
How I could count to 2 without counting 1
How I felt I was something special
How I saved from the clutches of men 
How I rattled with my terrifying emotions and put them in check 
How I had to fake it till the end 



I ask again what do you wish to hear 
How I became a full bloom of a woman
How I had a terrific figure
How  I sought to kill myself instead of living the life gifted to me. 
How I thought my life was not mine to kill
How I knew I had to live life my any means necessary
How I yearned for love but got nothing
How I did good things just to impress my God who saw how they oppressed me 



I ask again what do you wish to hear
How I became a story not worthy of your ears 
I ask again what do you wish to hear
How my past, future and present are mixed up in one bottle
I ask again what do you wish to hear
Tell me I will say it without hesitation and this time it will be nothing but the truth
Cos right now I have  nothing else to lose but my life.

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